Overcoming fear when it goes from reasonable to irrational

The Gator Whisperer

I once went hiking up a mountain with some friends. As we went higher the trail got thinner. In some places we were one small slip from plunging to the depths of Hell. Then there was a spot where the trail had been washed out. A jump of about three feet was required to go forward.

I was at the front of the group but I was so scared of missing the little jump that I stepped aside and let the others go first. I was in good shape and there was no reason to think I would have any trouble with the jump. However, the more I looked, the more I envisioned myself sliding down the mountain to my demise.


Seeing my friends make the jump should have helped. Instead, I was focused on the horrible consequences if I missed. Soon I was the only person who hadn’t made the jump. I was nearly paralyzed with fear and I seriously considered staying behind. My friends told me there was nothing to it. Finally, I took a deep breath and made the jump. It was no big deal.

When you spend too much time looking at a problem, it can seem bigger and more difficult than it actually is. Being careful is good, but overdoing it can keep us from moving forward.

Do fears sometimes hold you back? How can you recognize when sensible fear crosses the line to being irrational?

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Also, if you liked the writing, you might enjoy one or more of my ebooks. The titles listed in the right column and more are available at Amazon.com. Check them out!

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Prepare Your Mind for Success

A recent outing to Brown's Creek.

Do you see the future as a time when good things might happen, or as a time when good things will happen? 

Preparation is one of the keys to a successful fishing trip. A fisherman needs to check many things before setting out. 

Gear, bait, and license. You need to make sure everything works, and that you have hooks and a knife and the right bait. 

Weather and up to date fishing reports. It’s good to be aware of the tides, what species are hitting and where, etc. 

Knowledge of fishing regulations. There are lots of rules. Keep the wrong fish and you could end up with a big fine.

When I was getting ready for a recent outing, my wife suggested that I bring some ice to cool whatever I caught. I told her that I could get ice at the pier if I caught something.

Her attitude and mine were subtly different. She was thinking I would catch something and I was thinking I might catch something. I decided to pack some ice. 

Have you laid the necessary groundwork to succeed? Are you mentally prepared for success? What will it take to make the shift in your thinking?

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Also, if you have an insight on how to become more positive in your thought life, please leave a comment. 

Murphy's Law Breaker: Positive Thinking for Pessimists, has some of Danny’s humorous and inspirational writings. It’s on Kindle and you can get a free Kindle app if you don’t have one. Check it out at Amazon.com.

More articles on Positive Thinking.

The Power of Positive Memories.

Switching from negative thinking to positive.

Shaking down the highway with positive assumptions.

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Positive Positioning - Right Place, Right Time.

It's nice to be in the right place at the right time.
The day I got this pic was one of those times in my life.

By the time I turned twenty I was making a living and renting a place of my own. After finishing my first two years of college, I didn’t have the resources or the time to continue. There were bills to be paid. I started a small business moving and repairing waterbeds. The  money was OK, but the work was tough on my back.

After a few years, I began taking classes part-time at the University of North Florida. Fellow students joked that U.N.F. stood for, "You never finish," and it did seem like it would take forever. One day I got a call from a customer in a gated community who needed my services. It was Adam Herbert, the new President at U.N.F.

While I worked, I told him I was working towards a degree one class at a time. He encouraged me to stick with it. As I was wrapping up, he told me to let him know if there was anything he could do to help me in my educational pursuits.

I had already thought through what I would ask for if the opportunity arose. I said, “Mr. Herbert, if you have any scholarship money laying around, I could use some.”

He asked me what my GPA was. I had about a 3.5. He told me who to talk to in Financial Aid. Within a month I had enough scholarship money to go full-time. It only took a few semesters to finish.

At least three important elements came into play for getting that scholarship.

• I had a respectable GPA which qualified me for the kind of scholarship Mr. Herbert could nudge forward.
• I did a good job for my customer. Otherwise he certainly wouldn’t have offered to be helpful.
• I was in a positive frame of mind, ready to ask for something when the opportunity to do so arose.

Occasionally, when you ask for something, you might actually receive it. However, the groundwork has to be in place and you have to be ready. Faithfulness in small things can put you into position to ask and receive.

If you got something positive out of this post, please share it with your friends.  The sharing buttons are below. 

What are some of the small things in life that people can do to position themselves for positive opportunities? What has worked in your life? If you have a tip or a suggestion, leave it in the comments.

More on Positive Thinking

Habitual Optimism

Prepare your mind for success

Positive Assumptions

One drip away from insanity. Nip that leak in the bud!

A dripping faucet in a tub can be surprisingly destructive. I left a dripping faucet alone long enough for the water to wear through the enamel and then the cast iron. Since the drip was in the kids’ end of the house, it didn’t bother me much. I periodically applied new enamel but I was treating a symptom rather than the cause.

Eventually, I replaced some parts and the dripping stopped. Before long it came back. There was a tiny part called a “seat” one step beyond what I had fixed. It had deteriorated and it was the cause of the leak. One tiny notch in a small bit of plumbing, like that seat, is enough to produce the type of drip that leads to nervous breakdowns. 

I had to buy a special wrench to get the seat out! After I screwed the new seat in and reassembled the faucet, there was no more drip. Unfortunately, by that time there was lots of corrosion around the drain. I called in an expert. The hidden damage was five times worse than what I could see. It was amazing!

A small problem like a dripping faucet can be very annoying. As I found out, that small problem was very destructive over time. Also, the hidden damage was far worse than what I could see. Spiritual problems can be like that. Although they might seem like small annoyances, they can cause serious damage over time. Beneath the surface they can be more like a spreading cancer.

For example, greed can lead to miserly behavior and criminal acts. Gluttony can lead to obesity and poor health. And a properly nurtured resentment can lead to an obsessive desire for revenge culminating in murder.

As Barney Fife might say, “Nip the drip. Nip it in the bud.”

Can you think of spiritual issues that seem small but which are in fact serious problems? What have you found to be effective as remedies for things like that? 

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If you liked this tip about positive thinking, you might also like Murphy's Law Breaker: Positive Thinking for Pessimists. Check it out.

Laughter is the Best Therapy

Brian King

A few years ago I wanted to check out a seminar called Habits of Happy People. However, I wasn’t getting enough work at the time and I didn't feel like I could afford it. I’ve done quite a bit of event photography and it occurred to me that I could try to trade event shots for admission.

For most of my life, negative thinking has been the norm. When I was in comedy my best schtick revolved around Murphy's Law. I told lots of, "You might be a Murphy if..." jokes.

If I had been in a negative thinking mode when I thought of bartering for admission to the seminar, the positive idea would soon have been followed by a thought like, “That will never work. Don't even bother.”

Fortunately, I had started implementing some positive thinking techniques and I was in a positive frame of mind. “This could work,” I told myself.

The speaker was Brian King, a comedian/psychologist. His motto is, “Comedy is rarely painless.” Oh yeah! I contacted him and he liked the idea of getting some fresh pictures. He agreed to my proposal.

The seminar was excellent. Laughter is the best therapy! I would recommend Brian’s seminars to anyone who is looking for ways to be happier and have a more positive outlook on life.

Has laughter ever helped you to get through a tough time? Share your experience int he comments section. 

Have you ever ignored one of your own good ideas? When you think of something positive, pay attention. It might open doors in your life.

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Further Reading

How to tell jokes

Remedial Sensitivity

Make America Laugh Again

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Switching from Negative Thinking to Positive

Florida Dream Home with open floor plan.

When my thinking goes negative, it can be difficult to shift gears. It’s like mental inertia. Thinking in motion tends to stay in motion, whether it’s revolving in a negative direction or a positive one. There’s no switch on the back of my neck to go from negative to positive. However, I have found that scripting a positive thought into my mind works a lot like a switch.

For example, if I’m anxious about a meeting or some event that’s coming up, my mind might bring up all the things that could go wrong. To change that, I handwrite affirmations like this: “I will speak well and present my ideas effectively. I will be able to handle whatever challenges this event presents to me.”

Although I’m capable of presenting well and handling challenges, I occasionally need to remind myself of that. The process is simple and it works because it engages several of the senses.

• Coming up with a positive thought to write down is the beginning of a change in direction.
• My brain instructs my hand to write that thought down.
• As the positive thought appears on paper, my eyes are observing.
• To nail the thought down more firmly, I read the thought out loud.
• My lips are moving and my ears are hearing.

Instead of trying to think myself into a new attitude, several parts of my body are working together to produce a positive thought. Also, the thought is recorded by several of my senses including sight, hearing, and even touch through the actual writing.

I’ve written about this process in Words of Destiny which is available on Kindle. If you're interested, the preview on Amazon outlines many of the key ideas. Also, if you read on Kindle, the book is set up for free download through Sunday, January 3, 2016.

For more good ideas on positive thinking, check out this excellent blog post by Kristen Lamb. Life on Purpose—What to Do When Dreams & Goals Fizzle.

If you got something out of this post,  share it with your friends. The sharing buttons are below. 

If you've found an effective way to shift from negative to positive thinking, you can leave a comment  about that.

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Habitual Optimism.

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Kids in a Candy Store - The Power of Positive Memories

Research at Cornell, San Francisco State University, and elsewhere indicates that investing in experiences produces more satisfaction in the long run than purchasing things. For example, if you climb to the top of Everest or you hike a significant portion of the Appalachian Trail, you will have the satisfaction of that accomplishment for the rest of your life. If you buy an expensive car, you’ll enjoy it for a number of years but the feeling of satisfaction from owning it may fade relatively quickly.

Fun vacations with our three children have been a big priority for me and my wife. We have been to New England, California, Texas, and many places in the Southeast U.S. The emphasis was always on fun and togetherness. We did things on a shoestring but we still had lots of great times as a family.

My posse hitting the trail near Acton, CA.

Of all the vacation memories, one that stands out for my children happened in Maine while visiting one of my aunts. She has a relatively comfortable life. She took us to a candy store – the type that has walls lined with bins full of all kinds of candy. Then she told the children they could get whatever they wanted. and she didn’t set a limit. My kids were confused. They looked at me and asked, “Can we do that?” I shrugged and told them to go ahead. They were like kids in a candy store.

We had a similar experience during a stay in the Florida Keys. We saw lots of sights, snorkeled, and generally had a great time. Breakfast at a clubhouse was included with our rental. My kids’ favorite part of that vacation was going to the clubhouse in the mornings without me and my wife and eating whatever cereal they chose. They were at an age where that was very empowering.

Although my kids don’t remember what kind of candy they got in Maine or which cereal they chose in The Keys, they remember the experiences very well.

If you got something out of this, share it with your friends. The sharing buttons are below. 

Can you think of ways to accumulate positive memories that will give you pleasure for a long time? Leave a comment.

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What my dog taught me about optimism. 

Shaking down the highway with positive assumptions.

How to switch from negative to positive thinking.

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